Mermaid Mockery and Martial Arts

Wednesday, May 14th — This afternoon, as I was struggling to get prone on the moving table, I was wisecracking about feeling like a mermaid thrown up on shore. I stand at the foot of the table, make sure the head/cervical section is level, the thoracic section is also level,  and the bottom section is slightly tilted downward (and the whole business has to be raised a bit so it’s about knee height for me). Then I kind of sprawl and kind of crawl onto it. I am not able to kneel directly, since my fake knees don’t bend terribly well; although the thick and cushy surface of this table makes semi-kneeling less painful than most other surfaces, I must admit. And then there I am, sprawling and creeping upward, hauling myself up — like a mermaid on shore — up toward the top. It’s an exercise in itself just to get in the right position, and I’m usually panting when I get there.

So I’m making smart-ass remarks about mermaids, and Dr. K says, “You know, we ought to have a clip-on mermaid tail that we could put on kids when they come for adjustments. They might like it.” And I say something about “How about some appropriately mermaid-like music? You could have a CD to play while the kid’s being adjusted.” And then Emily starts singing “Under the Sea”, from “The Little Mermaid.” It takes me that long to realize they are mocking me and my sprawly, crawly personal arrangement efforts.  And there I am, whining, “Hey! Don’t MOCK me!”, just as I do when my kids are making fun of me. Have I come full circle, from Toronto to La Jolla, only to find MOCKERY at the end of the line again? Hmmmmm…

Then comes the Martial Arts part. Once, I can’t remember in what context, I told Emily and Dr. K that long ago, when I was taking T’ai Chi and loving it, I learned to break boards. (Hey, maybe that’s one reason my hands are bad now…) And this coming weekend, David is going to Las Vegas to meet with Randy Couture and his son Ryan (http://xtremecouture.wordpress.com/), and couldn’t be more excited if he were planning a weekend at the North Pole with Santa all to himself and freebies at the toy workshop. Randy is the five-tine champion of world martial arts, and some kind of guru to David K, as far as I can tell. So the next wisecrack from David, after we have pretty well exhausted the Mermaid theme, is — “Roseanna, maybe I should take Betsy to Vegas with me. She could probably take Randy right out with one swing!” (demonstrations of me knocking Randy out ensue..)

And all at the same time, the table’s bottom part is moving up and down (with my legs flapping like that ol’ mermaid tail), and David is pushing on bone after bone along my back, and I am groaning involuntarily.

I thought for just a moment how odd this was… and then I relaxed and smiled into the crispy toilet-paper face mat. These folks are my friends! Only people who love you tease you like this.  This is how my three grown kids tease me — “Let’s mock Mum some more, she is so MOCKABLE!”  I have been lucky enough not only to find a chiropractor who is helping me get my body back from the Undead, so to speak, but also to find three good friends with whom I can giggle and joke, and who I know will continue to mock me whenever possible.

I love it.

Thanks for reading — Betsy