Parallel or Paradox?

Thursday, March 27th — Here’s something interesting I found in the e-mail newsletter of Longevity, a British health magazine I think I’ll start reading soon.  How about this?

“HANDY FASHION HINT:  If you lug your life around in an oversized handbag, take note: Carrying a bag that weighs more than 10 percent of your body weight can cause improper balance, cautions the American Chiropractic Association (ACA). To prevent your heavy hold-all from becoming a health risk, avoid placing its weight on one side of your body by frequently swapping shoulders. When buying a new bag, pick one that has a wide shoulder strap that can be worn over your head, as this will help to distribute its weight evenly across your body. Lastly, make it a habit to de-clutter your handbag on a regular basis.”

I am certainly guilty of putting most of my worldly goods into my bag and slinging it over my left shoulder, almost every day. My excuse is that I use the cane on the right side. You lose a whole arm for carrying stuff when you have to use a cane for walking.  And I have a terrible time “de-cluttering”:  I NEED so much stuff with me! Makeup… my wallet (heavy, maybe I should take out all the coins)… two key rings (one for house and car security, one for car door and ignition)… my water bottle, usually fresh out of the freezer… and the lighter things like a handkerchief, business card case, small hairbrush, sunglasses, reading glasses, shopping list. Now, how dumb do you have to be not to realize that a decades-long habit of using a shoulder bag just MIGHT have something to do with the fact that your shoulders have virtually disintegrated?

I really have to work on this. It seems ridiculous to be so thrilled with my improving shoulder range of motion and lessening pain, and then to walk out of the chiropractic office with 12 pounds of junk weighing down one of the shoulders. It’s like what someone told me years ago, when I was a teenager. That was a time when just about everybody smoked, and just about everybody could hardly wait to be able to pass for 21 so we could drink. And then somebody said to me one day: “Smoking and drinking alcohol simultaneously is just like kicking yourself in the butt so you’ll go faster, and beating yourself on the head to slow yourself down.”

Is there a parallel here?  Or perhaps a paradox?