Be Careful What You Wish For…

Wednesday, April 23rd — … you may get it!  Well, I got it today, all right. Ever since mid-March I have been wistfully watching all these 20somethings and 30somethings at Dr. Klein’s office, as they lay on these moving chiropractic tables with their legs moving up and down, and Dr. Klein punching them out on their backs and cracking their necks.  I was LUSTING after those tables, let me tell you, it looked like so much fun!  Once I even asked him if it was a realistic goal to think that by July I might be able to use those tables. He said Yes.

Little did I dream that today would be The Day! A lot of people had cancelled for one reason or another, and when I arrived at 12:40 he was So Not Busy.  This was really unusual, as normally he’s running from table to table like an ant on a plate, and at the same time having three conversations and doing something on the computer as well.  So you can imagine how happy I was when he told me to lie on my face on the Moving Table and we’d give it a try.  “Veeeeeery slowly,” said he, “and veeeeeery gently.”

I arranged myself gracelessly prone, with my face in the vertical pit covered with paper.  Yuck, I do so hate that paper! But there it is… There was a bit of a hassle figuring out what to do with my arms. The younglings I had been so admiring stretch their arms out above their heads and grasp something, but my poor ancient arms wouldn’t go that straight.  I finally dangled one to the floor and tucked the other one on some sort of armrest below the table.

Okay: so then the machine took over, and my legs started moving up and down from the hip, slowly indeed, and gently indeed.  Then Dr. Klein did some of those huge pushes on the backs of the shoulders (”Deeeeep breath, now let it out…”) and around the ribcage. I am always grateful that I have not one speck of osteoporosis when he does that; I imagine my ribs cracking like eggshells, because this guy is pretty BIG, folks.  And next there was something quite weird-feeling.  The top third of the table can be set to the left or right of center. So first I lay there in a left-L-shape, and then in a right-L-shape, while more pummelling took place.

Then — “Okay, flip over onto your back.”  Everybody’s a comedian: my flipping days are over, long ago. So I lumbered over till I was on my back (almost got stuck, almost couldn’t get my arm out from under the table, almost fell off the table).  Emily was trying not to giggle, God bless her.  Once I arrived at the supine position, the neck-cracking took place. Snap, and snap, and a couple more snaps… woo-hoo!  Then arm-pulling and finger-pulling, then foot-kneading and toe-pulling, and I was nearly done. Boy, I WAS nearly done, too.

I got to have CAM run over the lumbar and sacral vertebrae while I sat on the table. I think CAM is feeling a bit neglected by me since I moved into the Table Room a couple of weeks ago. At any rate, it messed around with one of the vertebrae so the diagram showed it was more out of alignment than before. Hey, like I said, everybody’s a comedian, even the robot.

So that was what I had been longing for, for weeks.  Who knew!  As I said, “Be careful what you wish for… you may get it!”  This is a whole new chapter in my chiropractic story, I guess.  And again, thank you, David, for all your help!